Dear NF, I am really sorry if I traumatized you more with the car washes… see I know you’re terrified of them… I just thought that maybe if we tried it again that you’d see that they are not that scary… but I think I might have made it worse, I hope I didn’t. I promise no more car washes with you in the car… at least for a while?
Dear Giuliana Rancic, I can’t wait to read your book. Going off Script: How I survived a crazy childhood, cancer, and clooney’s 32 On-Screen Rejections… April 7th!!!
Dear Smellen, Thank you for introducing me to Repeat After Me… the funniest show ever right now… really helps with the February blues.
Dear TeeeeVeee, Do you even check this anymore? You were like my #1 fan for like a week!
Dear Carolyn Rivera on survivor’s white collar tribe, I *THINK* you’re my favorite white collar player… you really showed them!!
Dear Mike Holloway on survivor’s blue collar tribe, you are my favorite on the blue collar tribe because you ate a scorpion for no reason and that is good television.
Dear Joe Anglim on survivor’s no collar tribe, you are my favorite because you could make fire… and said that you practiced making fire before coming on the show…. WHYYYYYYYYY doesn’t everyone do that? Like why wouldn’t you practice making fire before going on the show?
Dear the dress, you’re blue and black and I don’t understand why people see gold and white….
Dear C, you’re goin on day 9 of being sick… I may be a terrible person but I can only be nice to someone who is sick for 3 days (I think it’s scientifically proven that someone can only have sympathy for a sick person and care for them for like 72 hours before they get annoyed). Sooo your time is up mister, GET BETTER NOW… you’re disgusting snot coughs snoring is driving me crazy (yes I am sure it is driving you crazy also and for that I feel bad).
Dear Disney world, I miss you.