Dear NF, I love that you say, “May I have…please” we worked on this for about 20 minutes before you were saying “please I have…” … let’s see what you say today.
Plow guy, I don’t know you yet, because there’s been no snow… but I hope that you’re incredible and reliable and I think you’re totally worth it because… you’re necessary.
Dear Joe Anglim, YESSS keep winning those immunity challenges… (did anyone else notice that his and Kelly Wigglesworth’s buns were very similar Wednesday night… ugh I wish I had a photo.) OH, and where do I buy Joe Anglim’s jewelry???
Patti Labelle’s sweet potato pie, I NEED YOU.
Dear 2016, You are looking fantastic!
Dear Christmas decorations, I know you’re dying to come out of the shed.
Dear Oprah’s book, What I Know For Sure, I am totally loving you.
Dear heartburn, WTFFFFFFFFFF.
Dear Maalox, are you off the market or what… what can I take instead? A pharmacist said ask my doctor, my doctor said uhhh tums? (THAT IS NOT THE SAME) and I said should I just ask a pharmacists? and he said oh yes try that… UGHH NO one wants to give suggestions to a pregnant person in fear that they’ll be wrong, well thank you for being cautious but my chest is on FIRE.
Dear Yasso Greek Yogurt Mint Chocolate Chip, I am out of you. If I go to wegmans tonight and you’re not there it is possible I might cry.
Dear winter finales, UGHH why do you exist… I need my shows new each week.
Dear Pie Night, pretty pumped about you next week!!
Dear Tyga and Kylie, did you finally break up? I hope so.
Dear Miley Cryus, you’re disgusting.
Dear Fashion Police, when are you coming back on?
Dear The Soup, WHY ARE YOU GOING TO BE OVER?