Dear summer tan, I’ve given up on you already.
Dear NF, I love that you say, “hey, can you please scoop over” while sticking your butt into someone instead of saying scoot. You’re going to see more fireworks tonight!! And I love that you’re so excited.
Dear taffy, I don’t really like you that much.
Dear Ariana Grande, ok, so you apologized twice… but what about licking the donuts… are you going to explain that part??
Dear instagram, I feel a real connection with the celebs now, thank you.
Dear Scott Disick, why oh why oh why… I am always routing for you and Kourtney!!
Dear Smellen, you don’t eat mcdonalds happy meals now that you’re getting married within 6 months… I SEE HOW IT IS. I really wanted to up my chances of getting the cave man minion that says “what the f…” thanks a lot. Oh but I do appreciate for those free baseball tickets you got… that was nice.
Dear True Detective, I’m losing interest.
Dear Shimmer and Shine, I’ve seen the one episode you have on demand 100 times.